Quite unfortunately if you hate Walmart you will find no use for this post. On the other hand if that is not the case you will absolutely love what we are about to say, that is, if you don’t know already. Before we explain how simple it can be to cut down all of the time you spend at Walmart, let’s just say that there is a lot of alignment with what we want to accomplish at The Magic Sloth and what has been accomplished at Walmart.
 Walmart’s slogan is Save Money, Live Better which is very similar to our Save Time, Live Life. Walmart is on a mission to save its customers as much money as possible in order that they might live a better life.

Walmart has been the recipient of a lot of bad publicity throughout the years, which is fair, if it is considered together with all of the great things it has done. All big companies are bound at one time or another to make bad decisions, specially if they are formed by humans (sloths needed). I read some time ago how some of the executives for Walmart would stay at very modest hotels when they traveled, because they were certain that those were savings that  would be appreciated by their customers when they picked anything from their shelves, and ultimately improve their lives. The Magic Sloth is on a similar mission, we want to save you as much time as possible in order that you might be able to live life to the fullest.

I always enjoyed the convenient prices, as well as the numerous options Walmart had to offer. However, the Walmart experience does come with some nuisances. As an addict of time savings it bothered me a little the fact that I had to drive a little more due to my location, that, combined with the titanic size of its facilities it would take a little more time to get from point A to point B (yes, I am a ridiculous person). The lines would also be usually long and finding something new in the store would become almost a treasure hunt. Overall, if I did my Groceries once every week, the entire mission would take around 1 and a half hours.

15 Minutes there and back equal 30 minutes, browse, pay and load the car would then take around an hour. Time is of absolute importance to me, but if you are not there let’s bring this to earth with some financial figures. Let’s say that your hourly rate is $15 and you spend one and a half hours doing Groceries every week. That means that if you go on four occasions throughout the month you have a monthly opportunity cost of around $90. And let me be clear, if you want to have the time to be successful you should only dedicate time to things that are worth your time. That means that if your participate on a recurrent activity which really has no enjoyment value to you, you should find ways to minimize it as much as possible being efficient. If you do not, you are literally, constantly giving money and time to something which you do not enjoy.
Walmart Grocery Pickup

Buy Me by Clicking On The Image! Time Is Money by Rui Faria at Society6

Now, Walmart being Walmart, understands the concept that Time Is Money. Therefore, if they are true to their mission of saving you money, they also need to find ways to save you time. Which they do, with their Grocery Pickup. If you clicked in the link you noticed that I just saved you $10, (you welcome). No need to say thanks, I also get $10 as well, for anybody that joins via that link. Do you imagine that I successfully save you guys time and by doing that you finance my groceries for the next month? Truly magical. Walmart Grocery Pickup could save you an entire hour every time you do Groceries, which you can then use to Live Life.
Now, if you ever start a blog, you will stumble upon a bunch of complications that are as annoying as multiple choice questions with answers that look identical. Besides the technical complications there are some ethical ones, like “am I a hypocrite?”. Even Michael Jackson knew that in order to change the world you need to start with The Man In The Mirror:
“If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change”
So I actually tried this out, before writing the post and it was a blast! After some complications… I go into the Walmart Grocery Pickup site and then it just checks to see if it is available on my area. Success! There are Walmarts that do this Magic everywhere. Now, I have a Trello Board with a Checklist of my groceries, (best idea ever), so I start searching for everything I need. Shazam! In less than 5 minutes everything was on my online cart. I even searched for some things that I could not find, when I went in person and everything was there. I choose my location and an hour later that day to pick it up, pay with credit card and done.
Walmart calls me an hour ahead of schedule, and tells me the package is ready for extraction. They will bring it out for us, they say. I say “cool, Alpha team on the way.” Me and my bro, get in the car to go and witness if this is for real. The guys told us it was super easy, just follow the orange signs that say Grocery Pickup and park on the orange parking lots that say Grocery Pickup. When we get there, is not super easy. In fact I swear to you that the Universe conspired to banish orange from the entire Walmart that day. There was not a single speck of Orange anywhere on sight, there was not even an Orange car, shirt or sign. We start circling and when we come back to where we began, it was extremely disappointing to find out that everything was as we left it a minute ago.
We call the freaking dude, and he is like bewildered that we cannot find all the orange stuff everywhere, he made it sound like there was more signs for the freaking thing that for an airplane landing in the middle of the night.
“There!” my bro points to a guy walking with an orange vest.
“He works here, he is wearing that orange thing workers wear and pushing those carts with that little machine.”
“He looks like he is stoned. Maybe that is why he is wearing that orange thing people who land planes are wearing.”
“Just ask him”
I roll down my window, and this guy stops as if I am pointing a gun at him, and I swear that he was looking straight at me while giving the appearance of looking at nothing at all.
“Hey, do you know, where the Grocery Pickup is? You know the Orange parking lots?”
“Hmmmm, Groceries, Ahh, orange parking. Dude that is over there, dude. You will find it there.” Not even a selfie with the Loch Ness monster would have brought out as much skepticism as I felt at that moment. But, my little bro made a suggestion and big bros must give the appearance of being sensible to suggestions of their counterparts from time to time.
“Thanks dude” I say as we drive away once more the same road we circled last time. And no, Orange did not choose to make an appearance.
I pick up the phone and call the Grocery Pickup guy for the third time.
“Look dude, there is no Orange anywhere in this Walmart and I mean it. Is this the Walmart next to the airport?”
I hear him lowering the phone and screaming to what I can only assume to be a Minion “Hey! Is this the Walmart next to the airport?”
“No man, this is not the Walmart next to the airport.”
“Is this the one in Belvedere?”
“Yeah, but there are two in Belvedere.”
“Ok see you in… 17 minutes” I surely hoped Google Maps was wrong. And why are there two Walmarts on the same street 20 minutes away? Yeah, I screwed up.
“I told you that guy was stoned” I told my brother
“I told you he worked there”
As soon as we get to the second Walmart in Belvedere, there are enough signs for Walmart Grocery Pickup to land a helicopter. We get to the famous Orange parking spots with no issues. There is a sign with the number we are supposed to call, we call our (by now friend) and tell him we are there, if he could bring out the groceries. In less than a minute he comes out with a shopping cart and a printed out report.
“Finally made it? We found everything you needed except the organic corn. Also, the potatoes you requested were not available, we changed them for organic potatoes which are a little more expensive, but we only charge you the lower priced item, so nothing to worry about.”
Second time I tried…
When you are ordering bananas, the quantity refers to each one of these. I thought I was ordering 10, but got 50 instead.
The Walmart Grocery Pickup is an amazing experience, that would save you a lot of time, every month. Just make absolutely sure to go to the right Walmart and not to order enough bananas for a tribe of monkeys.
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